Tummy Time

Updated: Nov 4, 2020

Caleb was super playful. He had a humor that was super cute and funny. He and I liked to joke around with each other. Our relationship was built on laughter and humor. I miss that aspect of my life.

I haven’t really talked about this much, but for a couple of years now, I have struggled with depression and anxiety. Before meeting Caleb, this disease would consume my life. I felt darkness and heaviness in my soul. It was a constant feeling that would press on me and drag me down. However, Caleb was a perfect remedy for me.

My anxiety and depression didn’t go away, but Caleb showed me a new light and positive outlook on life. He was always so happy even though I was not. Caleb was patient with me during this time. For instance, I would oftentimes get discouraged with myself and become sad, but Caleb and I had this thing called “tummy time” where I would lay on my stomach and Caleb would softly rub my back and say things like, “you are special” “I love you” “you will pass your classes” “you are worth it to me.” These things helped me feel safe and wanted in our relationship.

I often think of instances like these and I miss them. I miss the times that Caleb would tell me that everything would be okay and that he loved me. It helped with my anxieties and he helped me feel confident in my abilities.

Can you imagine a life where we are patient with one another? Where we are kind? Where we offer continual praise to our loved ones? Where we treat everyone with Christlike love?

Caleb did this for me. He treated me with Christlike love and rarely got angry. Even though Caleb isn’t physically present with me, I think of the impact his actions have had on me. I’ve never met a man with such grace and respect.

There are many ways to help someone who is struggling with anxiety and depression. Since Ceej’s passing, I have felt it creep back into my life and have been able to notice it more. It hurts. My anxiety has gotten worse and sometimes I can’t answer phone calls and texts. If you know someone who is struggling with anxiety and depression or going through a rough time, look to Caleb’s example and offer your best support. Love them through it. Think of unique ways to bless your loved one. Counsel with the Lord on how to be a light in their life like Caleb was to me.

Love, MJ

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