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The happiest place on earth

I’m from Utah and it has the harshest and some of the most brutal winters. This winter has been particularly hard being without Ceej. It’s so sad. It’s been lonely. I’ve cried. I’ve sobbed. I’ve prayed. I’m beginning to finally start realizing the severity of what has happened to me and my family.

I do believe in divine design. I believe in the majesty and all knowingness of God. At the start of this last semester, I met a really special girl. I was scared to move back to Logan and start a new semester without my husband. On the first day of my tennis class, i became fast friends with a girl named britnee. She told me she was from Springville. She also told me she knew my husband and had gone to school with him. She was literally an angel sent from God.

Britnee just recently invited me to go to DisneyWorld with her. I am not the type of person to just spontaneously buy a plane ticket across the country, but I did! This trip to Florida was exactly what I needed. When I was at Clearwater beach I just stared out into the ocean and just marveled that there had to be a God that understands and that all of His creations are numbered. For he numbers us like the sands of the sea.

To the world, DisneyWorld is claimed to be the happiest place on earth. I can vouch that it is a happy place and may be the happiest place on earth to some, but I feel like the happiest place on earth is with the people that make you feel loved. Caleb made me feel that way more than anything. The happiest place on earth to me was in the arms of my love.

I’ve had to find other ways to make my heart happy. It isn’t easy, but I have managed to find some little things that make me feel the same comfort that Caleb made me feel, for he was so good at making everyone feel loved.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to try and make yourself happy first and also think about your own needs. As a people pleaser, I always want everyone to be happy. I have been learning that it is okay to sit something out and do something that I want to do. It’s okay to say no if you aren’t feeling up to the task. It’s exhausting trying to live your life for other people. I have become more happier trying to live my life for me. Caleb did this. He didn’t care about what other people thought about him, he just worked on himself and let his best qualities prosper and help others. This does not mean you are selfish- it means that you are partaking in self care so that someday you can give more of your heart to others.

Besides living for yourself, seek people that bring the best out in you. Find people who triumph when you have a victory and applaud you for your strength. Find those people and hold them close. Hold them so close. Pray that you will find them like I did before I went back to what was going to be that hardest semester yet. Grasp onto righteousness and love. The ones who love you will want every nice thing for you. The people that I met on this trip are beautiful souls.

I hope that you can hold the people who are your happy places close. If you can’t physically hold them, know that the ones who love you never truly leave you. They hold us from beyond the grave and veil. Even if they feel far away, heaven isn’t too far for them. Remember that there is always a happy place for you.

Love, MJ

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