Our Beautiful Story

Hello! For those who do not know me, my name is Marissa. Even though I am un-experienced than many and have no idea how to run a blog, I am going to follow a spiritual prompting that I have had to write my thoughts and feelings down in hopes to bring light and life into this troubled world, and for those who are struggling in many aspects of their lives.

I grew up in Ogden Utah, and had an amazing childhood. I resided there for almost my whole life. My parents raised me in a Christian household and taught me the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am a member of his church, which is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Throughout my life, I have wanted to serve Him and love Him which is why I ultimately made the choice to serve a mission. For those who are not familiar with what a mission is, it is where young men and women have the opportunity to leave all of their personal affairs behind and are "called" (or assigned) to certain areas in the world to bring the knowledge of the fullness of the gospel to people who are not familiar with Christ's teachings. I was called to the south part of Houston Texas to minister to these people for a duration of 18 months... and how beautiful it was! I was able to see Christ's hand and miracles in my life and others. One of those miracles was meeting Caleb.

Ever since I met Caleb I knew that he was so special. I met him on a hot winter day in Wharton Texas on December 13, 2017. As a new missionary, I was timid; unconfident in my abilities as a missionary. Caleb had traveled with our mission president to our area to help train the missionaries (us) on the new technology (our fancy Samsung cell phones!!) My companion and I were greeted with firm handshakes and warm smiles by Caleb and his companion. She and I talked to him as he helped us and I had a certain spiritual impression that said, "you could marry him." I immediately suppressed that thought because I was a consecrated missionary for Jesus! I thought about that instance throughout my mission but never gave it a lot of thought until after I was released as a missionary.

I hadn’t seen Caleb except on special occasions like Christmas or zone conferences, and we rarely talked or interacted. Just a smile and wave. Sometimes I would tease him about his high school and that was it. His mission was coming to an end and I was halfway through mine. He was transferred back to his first area which was in Missouri City. We shared this area for the 6 weeks he was there and actually taught a lesson together! We would find Hispanic people for him and his companion to teach and they would do the same for us. It was amazing being able to see Caleb as a missionary. He loved Jesus Christ and he inspired me to be like him.

Soon after I returned home from my mission, Caleb reached out to me on Instagram and told me if I was ever in the Provo area to let him know! Ironically, I was in the Provo area that night I received the message. I invited Caleb over to a game night and he got to know some of my friends. It was so fun seeing him. He looked different from the Elder that I knew. His hair was grazing his shoulders and he looked like a skater boy! After the game night, the rest was history. I started to date him soon after that one game night in March 2019.

I grew in love with Caleb Johnson. I knew I loved him from the start. I just grew more in love with him over time. When you know you want to be with someone forever, your love for them deepens more and more. Caleb took me to the spot where we had our first kiss nearly a year later and proposed to me on February 22, 2020. He wrote a special song for me and serenaded me on his guitar. It was the easiest decision I made and of course I said yes.

We decided we wanted to get married really fast. Due to the coronavirus, the LDS temples were closed for the safety of the workers. We were not able to be married in the temple and more importantly sealed for time and all eternity at the time that we wanted to. I was stressed out by the thought that I would have to plan a wedding that was happening in 3 months, but we decided that we would just have a civil wedding in my backyard officiated by my grandpa Toby.

We were married on May 9, 2020 and it was a marvelous day. It was an intimate ceremony and we were surrounded by our immediate family members. My grandpa talked about the love we had for each other and how we would mutually treat each other with the high most respect in our marriage because that is the kind of people that we are. Our marriage was nothing short of beautiful. We both worked 9-5 jobs in Mapleton and Orem so we spent our time together every night. We lived in a cute little apartment on 9th East by the Provo MTC. It was as perfect as it could be for those 3 weeks.

On the morning of May 29, 2020 I woke up around 7 in morning to get ready for work. Caleb did not have work that day but got up with me. He insisted that I wear the ugliest rainbow shoes that I got from a thrift store in Texas. I thought that was weird because he hated those shoes! He told me that they looked good on me though and that I would look bomb and make all of my co-workers jealous. I was going to be late for work, but right before I left, Caleb gave me a sack with a lunch that he had packed and prepared for me to bring. He embraced me in a hug, kissed my forehead and my lips, and we both professed our love for each other. I didn't know that would be the last time.

Around 9 in the morning, I got a call from the Mapleton police department telling me that Caleb had been in an awful car accident. I did not know the extent of the accident, but I just knew it was awful. At that moment, I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything, for I did not know what to feel. I was rushed to the Utah Valley Hospital by my amazing manager at my job. I really don't know how to express the feelings that I had other than they were hazy. I felt an abundance of sadness and heartache. The physicians let his parents and I see him in the E.R. I learned that Caleb was hit head on by a dump truck leaving many of his bones shattered. One of which is a bone in the brain. The impact from his accident was so intense, that it shattered this important bone in the brain. It went through his frontal lobe which controls language, cognitive function, memories...

Through this whole experience, I did not lose faith in my Master Jesus Christ. I knew the extent of his injuries and that they were not good, but I found myself trusting God even more. I knew that he knew what was going on and that HE was the one in charge and at the helm. This brought me immense comfort amongst the hardest thing I would ever have to see. Caleb never woke up and it was the most painful thing that I ever had to witness. Seeing the one you love hooked up to cables, wires, and tubes, is not the sight you want to see. EVER. I shed so many tears. I pled with God to help Caleb not suffer, and most importantly that Caleb would be happy if he lived or if he passed. I did not want Caleb to become disabled because he loved performing his music, for it was his passion. Every night of our marriage, we would read in the Book of Mormon and say a nightly prayer together. In the hospital, I did that for us. I sang to him hymns that we learned when we were children about how families can be together forever. At times, I would look at my rainbow shoes and think of hours before where we were smiling and laughing in our cute little apartment and wishing that everything was going to work out. God had a different plan for Caleb.

Caleb passed away on May 30, 2020 the next day. He was transported to Murray to donate his organs to help many lives. I find this topic very hard for me to discuss. Even though my lovey passed on from this life, he was able to bless the lives of others and that is amazing. Although this has been a wonderful gift for others, my heart is still broken and shattered to know that he is not here with me. To hold me. To laugh with.

It has been four months since his accident and unprecedented death. I still cannot believe that he is gone. What I do know though, is that God has a plan for me and Caleb. I will not lie, It has been challenging dealing with the grief of my Lovey's passing, but I have hopes that I will see Caleb again someday. My hope for this blog is to help inspire your faith in Jesus Christ amidst the hardships you face, no matter how extreme or little they may seem in your life. I know and can testify of the grace of Jesus Christ and the love he has for me and all of His brothers and sisters. For I know that one day we will see him and he will lead us unto living fountains of waters, and He will wipe away all of the tears from our eyes. (Revelation 7:17)

With Love, MJ

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