I have a lot of feelings today. Two years ago I got a phone call that would change my life forever. On the other end, a frantic police officer related to me that my husband had been in a terrible accident and that I needed to meet at the hospital immediately. Unable to drive, my sweet manager helped me get into her car and she drove me to the hospital.

There’s a part in the human brain that protects an individual who has been through trauma and something unsettling. It sometimes blocks painful memories. I can only remember bits and pieces about the 29th of May. It really did seem like a movie, and a nightmare.

It sucked.

I really don’t like to talk about what happened anymore because it makes me angry and sad. I try and focus on the happy times rather than thinking about the tragedy.

I didn’t know this before I starting learning about healthy grieving cycles, but there are many different ways to grieve. There are people who like to post on social media about their loved one, there are individuals who don’t want to talk about it all the time, or at all. There are individuals who like to spend time at the cemetery, because that is where they feel close to them. For me, I don’t feel the need to post often about him anymore. I find other ways to feel close to him and to deal with what happened. I call myself a silent griever now.

The pain is still there.

There is still a place in my heart only for him.

I wish I had more to say today other than that, but I don’t. It is a terrible day for many who loved him and cared for him.

Im sad today. That’s it.


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